There
are six foundational qualities to an effective and productive mentoring
relationship. There many sub-qualities that branch off of these foundational
qualities and potentially connect the relationship together in other various
ways. In looking at the qualities we will in effect define the word mentoring.
Three
of these qualities relate directly to the mentor and three of these qualities
relate directly to the mentoree. When
we looking at these qualities of the mentor in these relationships we must
always understand that we are discussing the role of an active mentor. Because
of the definition and nature of the passive mentor it would be virtually
impossible for the passive mentor to involved in a mentoring relationship
holding to these foundational qualities. Let's examine the first of these
foundational qualities relating to the active mentor.
1). A MENTOR must sacrificially give of
themselves.
When
the mentor is giving of themselves sacrificially in a mentoring relationship,
it means that the mentor is investing themselves in the life of the mentoree in a way that goes beyond the
level of a typical relationship. This means that extra time, extra effort and
extra care are personally extended to the mentoree
by the mentor. Ideally, the mentor must be genuinely willing to give of him or
herself to the betterment of the mentoree
regardless of the personal cost.
2). A MENTOR should not place time
restraints for completion of the mentoring process.
This
simply means that the mentor should have obtainable goals to reach with the
mentoree without demanding an ultimate deadline for those goals to be reached
or completed. It does not mean there shouldn't be any goals or obtainable
deadlines. But the mentor should not mandate completion or deadlines based on
his or her own expectations. This is where the mentor must exercise good
discernment of who easily the mentoree
is adapting to the learning and productive processes of the relationship. If
the mentoree does not discern these
things correctly and act appropriately, the relationship will dissolve.
3). A MENTOR should desire to see the mentoree be better than their own
abilities.
A
real mentor desires to produce a better "product" than he or she
actually is. This means that the after the mentor invests himself or herself
into the mentoree, that the end
result after an undetermined period of time will be a better or improved
version of the original mentor. Under proper mentorship there should be
generational improvement. If the mentor does not believe this to be a
possibility or does not want this
to be
the potential, it will not happen.
Now
let's look at the qualities of a mentoring relationship that should surround
the mentoree. These are just as
important as those we have just examined that surround the mentor's
contribution to the relationship.
1). A MENTOREE should respect the Mentor.
This
type of respect is primarily focused on the value of the mentor's history. The mentoree must value how the mentor has
obtained the skills and abilities that are being taught and exemplified. The
mentor's volume of experience in the discipline is also part of this respect
factor. It also generally assists the relationship if there is a personal
connection based on the characteristics and traits of the mentor that the mentoree values and appreciates.
2). A MENTOREE must be teachable.
The
simple rule here is that one cannot be instructed or taught in a discipline or
arena of study or practice that they have no desire to be taught. There is no
such thing as a "forced mentoree".
This goes back to the issue of the desire of the mentoree to learn and grow as they are being mentored by the
mentor.
3). A MENTOREE must apply the learning
experience to personal practice
Very simply, the mentoree
can learn and learn, but unless what is learned is practically applied in the
life and world of the mentoree by the
mentoree it can all be tallied as a
journey in futility. The whole purpose of establishing a mentoring relationship
between two individuals is for the mentoree
to be a productive asset to the particular discipline, career practice and/or
skill.